The Light in 2013: A Year in Review

As the cycle of the year nears its end and the prospect of new life, new opportunities, and new adventures lay ahead, I find myself – like so many others – reminiscing and reflecting on the past year. The triumphs, the failures, the happy milestones and the sad ones, and all the in-between moments that somehow resurface when we realize how quickly time has escaped us.

This year has been one for the record books – well, at least my proverbial record book. Much has transpired in my life, my family’s life, and my friends’ lives. And if I zoom out of my own little world, there is an even larger net of people and communities, countries and cultures that have been affected in various ways this year. From political upheavals to global mass tragedies to war and death and tyranny, much of the year (and all too often every year) we have experienced a lot of dark turmoil.  However, without darkness, there cannot be an appreciation for light. And amidst the tragedies and the uncertainty of a changing and adapting world, there came forth a brilliant light in the form of people and communities banding together, helping one another, and encouraging the light to shine through all those dark moments. Ultimately, it is through the reflection of the good and the bad, the happy and sad that we decide how we'll value these last 365 days and how we will cherish them as we embark on a new cycle of life.

For me personally, I choose to value this year as an amazing journey of achievements, renewal, and love.  And my cherished memories for 2013 are solidified in those three elements.

Achievements

My journey of education -- of knowledge and enlightenment of passion and dedication -- was realized this year as I completed my Master's degree in English. After many, many years of struggling to figure out my educational path, I finally managed to get on the right one and made my way through the thicket and bracken that had suffocated my passions. It was a scary endeavor and one that was filled with moments of trepidation and weariness, but in the end, all of that darkness made way for the light of achievement and the beautiful feeling of success. Of all that I've accomplished in previous years, this is the one honor that will be a beacon for all others -- a reminder that all is not lost as long as you have a small glimmer of hope still glowing inside.

Renewal

And with achievement also came renewal. In the form of renewed creativity, inspiration, and dedication. I found my voice again and my desire to share it with others. A much anticipated vacation to the land of art and beauty and awakening stimulated my senses and ushered into my life a baptism of thoughts and ideas. Paris and London were my antidote to my mundane existence. The milieu of these decadent places enriched my soul with an artistic ambition, allowing me to return to my desert home with buoyancy in my imagination and eagerness to express it. And that is exactly what I did. I began writing poetry again, discovering music again, examining and thinking about art again -- all essential activities of renewal. And in those exploratory acts, I not only found myself again, but a slightly better version of myself that would lead me to discovering the most vital of all.

Love

This ubiquitous feeling all humans possess isn't one that comes entirely natural to me. Love is an intangible, and it comes in many forms. I love my family. I love my friends. I love dogs. I love mustard with my French fries. I love rainy days. I love the novel Catcher in the Rye. The amount and scope of my love seems limitless, but when confronted by this emotion's complexities and its simplicities, I often find myself bewildered and dumbfounded. This bewilderment and dumbfoundedness came to me twice this year. First, when my grandma passed away after a month struggle following a fall and many years of progressive Alzheimer's. Her death was unexpected, although it wasn't entirely a surprise. Nevertheless, the loss of someone who had been in my life for its entirety was a shock to my system -- a realization that love isn't just verbal or symbolic, but that it is a force -- an energy -- deep inside that must be nurtured and allowed to grow. Sadly, it took the death of a loved one to be reminded that although I often see love as an ethereal emotion for me, it is always there, right under the surface, right there in the midst of my life just waiting to be discovered and recovered.

And that is what led me to my second moment of astonishment and bafflement by love. It came in the form of a kind, generous, and handsome man who magically one day appeared like the Ghost of Christmas past -- except it wasn't quite Christmas yet. His reappearance into my life was the 21st century equivalent to the Victorian epistolary novels -- emails back and forth, long and delightful, filled with stories and ideas, thoughts and philosophies, discussions and analyses: something that most men (or women for that matter) have no time or desire to compose. But he did. He made time (and continues to make time) to talk to me about art, poetry, life, and, well, everything. He came to me like a long awaited rain shower -- a memory that was comforting and nurturing -- and that returned to me the exact moment I was about to give up on the hope of it ever reaching me. And it is that nourishment -- that love from this man from my past, whose essence never really left my mind or heart -- that has made everything this year and for years to come that much more beautiful and brilliant.

And with achievements, renewal, and love fresh in the air, may the end of 2013 bring everyone a sense of tranquility and contentment, and the desire for a new year filled with unlimited possibilities and new found hope.

Here's wishing everyone peace, happiness & love for 2014!

Post-Vacation Daydreaming

For the last few weeks I've been trying to get back into the swing of things after my trip to Paris and London. It hasn't been easy. My mind keeps wandering back to the cafes, the pains au chocolat, the Eiffel Tower spotting, the polite British accents, and, yes, even the hustle and bustle of the cites. I don't know if it's because I didn't spend enough time with Lisa in cities that require more than three days to explore, but I feel unfinished -- like there was more to do, more to see, and more things to talk about.

Since I can't seem to shake this ripped page feeling of ambivalence, I've decided to stop trying and go full tilt into daydreaming. And this blog is a good way for me to stay addicted to my Parisian affliction -- perhaps an unfortunate gateway drug into a dizzying attempt to re-energize my life. Nevertheless, it gets me thinking -- remembering -- the surface moments of visiting stores new to me, browsing through fashions I never get to see in the desert climate of Arizona, and fashion-watching on the streets of the most stylish cities of the world.

One of my favorite moments is when I received a reassuring lesson in French lingerie -- you don't have to be a double d to find alluring underthings. And, as my mom said to me after I excitedly told her about my discovery, "It seems like the women over there aren't as fake as they are in the U.S." I'm not sure if that is entirely the case, but it does seem they cater to the smaller-sized ladies (which can actually be a curse for those who don't naturally fall into that category).

Anyway, I was pleased when Lisa ushered me into a lingerie shop called Princess Tam Tam, and I was able to pick up a couple of perfectly-fitting bras. Unfortunately for me the store presently only exists in Europe...and...they don't ship to the U.S. Fortunate for me, though, is that my best friend can ship them to me. Or, better yet, I can just use my lingerie needs as an excuse to make another trip back.

And in London, while seeing a variety of stores that don't exist yet in Phoenix but I've frequented online (Zara, Mango, and TopShop), Lisa, once again, introduced me to a new-to-me store called COS. At the time, I didn't know much about the label except that the clothes looked rather luxurious but also fairly affordable. Their fall/winter collection was full of voluminous wools and muted hues -- perfect for London's melancholy tinted days. Later on, I found out the label is an off-shoot brand of H&M, and, again, only available in Europe (and apparently also in Asia and the Middle East). I guess this provides me with another excuse to get my lingeried butt back to the Old World. Until then, my wanderings on their online store will have to suffice...

Please Mind the Gap, Love

If my stay in Paris wasn’t enough to fill my heart with joy, my memorable trip to London made it burst. This was my first time to the city known as “The Smoke,” and although Lisa had visited a couple times before with her daughters, this would be the first time she was child-free. We were both determined to have a fun girls getaway, and I think we succeeded.

After our short train ride through the hills and valleys of France and England, and through a somewhat ear-popping excursion under the English Channel, we found ourselves in London’s King’s Cross/St. Pancras station. The packed stations was a little daunting at first, but after figuring out what kind of Tube pass to get, we were on our way to the hotel.  Lisa, being the metro-guru that she is, knew exactly which line to take. And luckily for us, the Piccadilly Line to our Gloucester stop was super easy. And, what was even better was that our hotel was a hop, skip, and jump from the Tube station. The only difficult moment we had was lugging our luggage up two flights of stairs. (It was a good work out nonetheless.)

Once we got settled into our hotel room, we started getting ready for our afternoon tea reservations at The Wolseley – apparently a well-known (and dare I say swanky) spot for a traditional English tea experience. Lisa and I had the basic tea service – our choice of tea (I chose the The Wolseley Afternoon Blend) and two scones with homemade jam and clotted cream (also known in America as butter). It was delightful and astonishingly very filling – a perfect cap-off a first afternoon in the city.

With a little shopping after tea, purchasing gifts (including tea and jam) and enjoying the scenery, we heading back to the hotel for a little rest. That evening we stayed near the hotel, traveling only a block or so for dinner at an Italian restaurant. The weather was a little wet and chilly that first night, but being from Phoenix, I enjoyed it tremendously.

The next day was heralded “Tourist Day.” Lisa and I decided to hop on a bus tour of the city. It was the easiest way to see all the sights for a somewhat affordable price. We took copious amounts of pictures of all the landmarks and hopped off near the Thames River across from Parliament, Big Ben, and Westminster Abbey. What amazing architectural and historical sights we saw! I was in awestruck by the intricate work of each structure and the significance they have not only in England’s history but also in America’s.

We also saw many other unique and ornately designed buildings throughout the City of London and surrounding boroughs. We drove over the London Bridge, saw the London Tower and The London Eye (which I didn’t make it to this time around), snapped pictures of numerous pubs, and took note of the shopping areas we wanted to visit the following day.

After a full day of sightseeing, we got ourselves ready for a fancy evening at Gordon Ramsey’s Maze Grill on Grosvenor Square. After a humorous and lively taxi ride to the restaurant – one filled with talk about polka-dot knickers and the happenstance of “finding” a hotel – we found ourselves in a very exclusive-feeling establishment. Those Londoners really know how to make a lady feel special. From the courteous hostess to the nice bartender, and to a wonderful (albeit expensive) meal, it was another lovely London experience. (Sorry I have no pictures of it – I didn’t want to come across as too obnoxiously touristy.)

Lisa’s  and my final full day in London was spent shopping. We made our way to Notting Hill’s Portobello Street Market. And what a market it was! Never before have I seen so many people all in one place and speaking so many different languages. It was like being at the United Nations of Flea Markets.

There were so many goodies and goods I was in shopping and eating heaven. Baked goods galore, fresh fruits and vegetables, and all sorts of delicious smells wafted through the streets. There were also an array of stalls devoted to antiques, souvenirs, clothing items and accessories. I was drawn to some of the antiques – particularly an old bookstall that had 19^th century books ranging from an old Bible to tiny pocket-sized books of Shakespeare’s plays. A book that caught my eye was a 1880s edition of a Keats poetry book. I grabbed it up and had no qualms paying full price.

I also found an antique stall that carried old letterpress letters, which I had been looking for in Phoenix for quite some time. I found the letters I wanted – my initials T-J-K – and a stand to house them on. I even haggled the price down a little bit.

After getting our fill of the market scene, we made our way to Oxford and Regent Streets for real store shopping. It was crowded crazyville and I was a little overwhelmed. (I think Lisa can attest to that.) But Lisa found some great deals and I found several things I put on my mental list of things-to-get-when-I-come-back.

We then somehow found ourselves back on the bus tour from the previous day (the tickets were good for two days). We gave our feet some time to recuperate and my introverted mind a moment or two to decompress. After my crowd-induced mini-meltdown settled, Lisa and I made our final shopping stop at Harrods – the mecca of department stores. Lisa described it as the Caesar’s Palace of shopping centers. She was right. From its ornate interior to its luxurious designer offerings, it was quite a remarkable structure to behold.

Before we left our beloved London, we were given one last gift from this hospitable and gracious city. A very strapping young man offered to help carry Lisa’s and my luggage down to the Tube platform. We both watched in swooning gratitude, as he lifted our luggage in each hand – tattooed muscles bulging – and carried them down the stairs for us. With much appreciation and a warm heart for this city that seems to keep on giving, we thanked that kind Londoner and made our way back to Paris.

Both cities have found a special place in my heart – Paris for its effortless beauty, scrumptious food, and amorous spirit; and London for its convivial atmosphere, sardonic humor, and awesome history. Although my stay was filled with a sufficient amount of memorable experience, I know that these two places have burrowed their way into my soul and that I’ll never be quite complete without visiting them again and again.

Until then, love, cheers!

Packing for Paris: Part Four

Three weeks and counting until I'm in gay ole' Pair-ee. And, as the days flutter by and the weekends slip past me, I'm starting to realize that my European wardrobe may be lacking in the WOW factory.

See, I'm not really a flashy person. I tend to wear simple, low-key pieces that I can mix and match.  But, I suppose it might be worthwhile to add a little pizazz to my wardrobe, especially since my friend from Paris, who is traveling with me to London, said she wanted to go out for a nice dinner during our visit. And, well, that just upped the ante for me. Now I've got to find something cute and hip with a little bit of flair. 

So, here are some dresses that do a good job of keeping that simple side of me happy, while adding a little flourish here and there to add some interest and intrigue to my look.

1. Contrasted Panels Dress, Mango, $79.99; 2. Lace Detail Dress, I. Madeline, Piperlime, $89; 3. Tweedie Dress, C. Luce, Piperlime, $79; 4. Solar Pleated Dress, French Connection, $198.

Packing for Paris: Part Three

Shirts, tees, sweaters, cardigans. I obviously can't go topless in Paris. (Okay, well maybe I could get away with it, but it might get too cold for those kinds of shenanigans.) So to ensure my torso (and other accouterments) stays warm, I will need to make sure I have a decent supply of tops to go along with my skinnies and kicks.

And although I have a healthy supply of tops already vying for their place in my suitcase, I would like to supplement them with some fun yet basic shirts that will allow me to mix and match at my pleasure. Here are some of the treasures I found online that I think would be a great addition to my traveling wardrobe.

Polka Dot Sweater, J.Crew Factory, $47.50; Blue striped t-shirt, Anthropologie, $29.95; Jeweled Collar Sweatshirt, LOFT, $54.50; Black Sweater, Zara, $59.90; Chambray Popover Shirt, New York & Company, $20.

Packing for Paris: Part One

Well, it is official! I'm going to Paris! And even though it will be my third trip, this time around I'm also going on a short excursion to London. Plus, I get to spend a whole week with my best friend in two of the most vibrant and stylish cities in the world. I'll be visiting in early Fall, and with the unknown weather a major factor along with a desire to look as fashionable as I can on a budget, I've already started planning my wardrobe.

Starting with the toes and working my way up, the next few posts will be a run down of what I think are essential pieces that will not only work for a traveling gal like myself but also keep me looking chic for less.

First up is the bootie. I initially thought it would be better to buy a pair of knee-high riding boots, but then I started seeing all these fun booties popping up everywhere. They reminded me of a pair of black Nine West booties I owned in the late 90s. Unfortunately, I gave them away sometime in the early 21st century because I thought they were passé. Which reminds me, NEVER DO THAT AGAIN! Like the saying goes, "what goes around comes around"... especially when it comes to fashion.

So with the desire of reigniting those 90s memories and maybe feeling as though I'm in my 20s again, I've decided to buy a pair of booties for my European vacation. Here's a sample of various booties with prices ranging from a very reasonable $59 to a more guilt-filled $345. Which ones do you like?

1. Speartint Booties, Aerosoles, Macy's $69 (plus 20% off); 2. Krando Booties, Madden Girl, Macy's, $59 (plus 10% off); 3. Becky Ankle Booties, Sole Society, $79.95; 4. Billie Boots, Madewell, Shopbob, $228; 5. Quasar Bootie, Franco Sarto, Piperlime, $129; 6. Leoda Flat Bootie, Coach, Bloomingdale's, $345.